Me and my girls last Mother's Day.......
.........and then this year.....today we got the call that Gracie's headstone had been placed. The timing is bittersweet, the day before Mother's Day.
This is Callie yesterday, holding the balloon she got from a birthday party. She wanted to bring it to Gracie's grave and let it go.
Watching her balloon fly away.
Callie picked this My Little Pony balloon at the store.We got the call today that Gracie's headstone had been placed. Tom and I immediately drove down to see it. We were pleased with how it turned out. Seeing it there makes it 'official' and sad. Through some tears I sarcastically said "Happy Mother's Day to me". I couldn't help but feel the irony of the whole situation. I am glad that she has more than a silver marker on her grave now. Seeing her picture there will help me feel closer to her when I visit.
I had already been thinking of Gracie more over the last few days with Mother's Day coming up on Sunday. Friday, I decided I would like to take a balloon to her grave because I was thinking of her. Callie and I went to the store and I let her pick out the balloon. She picked My Little Pony and brought along a purple balloon that she had leftover from a birthday party that she wanted to let off. It was really windy and a little chilly so we didn't stay long. Surprisingly, her headstone would be placed the very next day. Callie let go of her balloon and watched it disappear into the clouds.
I know all the 'first' holidays without her will be the hardest but Mother's Day will most likely remain the one that I reflect on Gracie the most. It will probably always bring a twinge of sadness in some form or another. However, some people never have the chance to be a mother. I have been blessed to have four beautiful children and I am extremely grateful for that. Mother's Day will have a different feeling to it now. Knowing that I have a sweet baby waiting for me in heaven is something special.
Thanks to all of you who have already sent me emails and facebook messages that you are thinking of me this Mother's Day, how very thoughtful of you. I hope all of you have a good Mother's Day too. I have received the following saying a couple of times from some very nice blog friends, it says:
"The best way to have Heaven in your home.............is to have someone from your home in Heaven."
I look forward to a bittersweet day tomorrow. Having fun with the three kids I have here with me and thinking in my heart always of the one who is watching over us.
"The best way to have Heaven in your home.............is to have someone from your home in Heaven."
I look forward to a bittersweet day tomorrow. Having fun with the three kids I have here with me and thinking in my heart always of the one who is watching over us.
45 comments:
Michele, I'm thinking of you this Mother's Day. I hope you are able to enjoy the day.
Blessings,
Sabrina
May God bless you on this Mother's Day and every day of your life.
You are truly an inspiration.
I thought of you when I got up todday and how it will be a bittersweet day for you. Im ALWAYS thinking of you and little Gracie. We visited her Grave on Wednesday and I wondered when her stone would be coming, it's beautiful!
Michele:
Gracie was so blessed to have you for her mother. Your love for her is and will always be special. You can look forward to an eternity of mother's days with all your sweet children knowing you have a forever family.
For today, from your mom and me "Happy Mothers Day"
You are in my heart and prayers. This is my third Mother's Day without our 4th Son. We are so thankful for the time God gave us with our son. Yet, each holiday always has moments. Those mements are hard to express into words. As I know the truth and hold fast to knowing my son's spirit is in heaven and one day we will have an amazing reunion. Yet, here on earth we grieve, we hurt and yearn for one more moment to hold onto our precious babies. This was much more than I was going to say. But know I am praying for you each day.
Terri and family
Happy Mother's Day! I have been thinking of you..esp with Mother's Day coming up.
All of your children are so blessed to have u for a Mother :)
BIG ((((HUGS))))
I hope u can feel Gracie close to you today...
Thinking of you and your family today. Gracie's headstone is beautiful.
I have been thinking of you a lot today. I know the first Mother's Day without Gracie will be so hard for you. It is my 19th Mother's Day without my Melissa but it is still a bittersweet day. I am so blessed to have my other children but one will always be missing. My prayers are with you.
Also, Gracie's headstone is beautiful.
I remember the feeling of finality after my brothers stone was finally placed. I didn't realize before that experience that it takes a long time to get the stone ready, and it really bothered me. I still can't place the feelings, but without a stone at his grave I felt very sad. I already felt like I needed to tell everybody I met that my brother had died recently. The stone does that for him -- It tells people his story.
Gracie's stone is beautiful. I hope you feel some peace today.
Michele,
I have been thinking of you as this day approached. I know your Angel Gracie is with you. She loves you and is watching over you.
Take Care.
Love ya!
I just read your last several updates and just wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day Michele. You are quite an inspiration to all moms, including me. I have 2 sons--21 and 19, whom for the most part, have been pretty healthy. You have handled Gracie's illness and passing in such a dignified and faithful manner. I'm not sure if those are exactly the words I want, but, you really touch me when I read your updates. I continue to pray for you and your entire beautiful family for healing, grace, comfort, and peace. I hope you will continue to write in this blog or give us a link to your other one, because, I know I, for one, would miss hearing about you and your family. May God continue to bless and keep you in the palm of His hand.
Prayerfully,
COLE'S Prayer Team
www.colesfoundation.com
Janet
Happy Mother's day to you. I am so sorry about you not having Ms. Gracie here to celebrate that day we you. I am sure she is celebrating for you in heaven. I'm thinking about you.
Michele-
I too had feelings in my heart for you this Mothers Day!
Gracie, though her life was so very short will live on in the hearts of many...but truly a connection between a mother & child is far greater than any relationship of its kind. I think the cherished moments that you will embrace will always be a reminder of your sweet Gracie.
She is watching over you...! She sent you a picture of her to always be remembered when visiting her grave sight. I dont believe in coincidences....but I believe in miracles. Enjoy your miracle today on 'Mothers Day'! She is in your heart today...always!
Hugs-
It is beautiful!
Michele,
I've been thinking about you today, and last night (we were by your house visiting the Gary Duncan) and I just couldn't stop thinking how hard life is sometimes. Mother's day has been bittersweet for me for years(first my mom, then Kayden being born May 9th-sometimes ends up on mother's day) but this year I have been really emotional. Maybe it's because of sweet Gracie and how your mother's days will be different now. I've been thinking of you and hope that you found some comfort and joy today. You are the MOTHER of an ANGEL :) (a little silver lining?) Happy Mother's Day! XOXOX
Dear Michele! I Love Gracie's Headstone. We'll go see it this week sometime! That is my favorite photo of Gracie! Think of you often!
Tanille Kelsch!
Thought of you and Sweet Gracie today. Her headstone is beautiful. Many loving thoughts and prayers continue from our family to yours.
Thinking about you and your beautiful family today and everyday. Sure love you lots, and hope that you continually feel our love and support.
I'm thinking of you today. I think the headstone is beautiful.
Hi Michele,
Thanks for the tears. I love her headstone. I know what you mean about the bitter/sweet of the headstone. I hate going to Jakes grave and seeing just a silver marker, but it also makes it feel as though it isn't real. I wore every bit of my Jake apparel I could today (my outfit from Jake's funeral, my jake necklace, bracelet, and my ring.) I went to visit him today for just a moment as well. It was sweet. I love that saying about Heaven in your home. I have the same one on a plaque and I love it! :) Hope you had a great mother's day! Miss you!!
You crossed my mind so many times today! Happy Mother's Day to one of the most inspirational mothers I know. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Gracie's headstone is perfect! God bless you and your sweet family.
i think of your family often. we were at primary children's just before gracie passed. my son was on the 3rd floor with rsv. his birthday is march 4th, just more than a year now. i was so touched by your story and have so much admiration for your courage and strength. your honesty and the "nakedness" with which you share your emotions is touching. thank you.
emily
Michele,
You, for one, know there are so very few true coincidences in life. I have to believe Gracie and God are orchestrating the timing of so may things from not so far away. Take comfort. You were, are, and will always be her mother. So much love to you.
xoxo,
Mindi
I was thinking of you and all the mothers who have lost a child today, yearn for children or have a sick child. How our hearts change because of knowing sweet angels like Gracie. The headstone is beautiful! Hope you were filled with peace today.
I hope you had a peaceful Mother's Day... Families really ARE forever!
I'm so sorry for your loss I have been following your blog for a month or so & I have not wanted to comment, just cuz you dont know me & I am so sorry but I love your story the faith int he eternal life is such a tesitmony for me! Oh how I have thought about you & your sweet family. I was at Costco & they asked me to donate the dollar to Priary & I couldnt help but donate 10 & in her name! Thank you! for sharing your testimony & thoughts in every post.
I sent you an email once about how Gracie affects my life.. she still does.. I think of her often and come back to her blog at least a few times a week. Sometimes I just spend time going through some of your old posts. There are times too where I just randomly pick a post to read.. just so I can hear about her and see more pictures again...
I know Mother's Day must have been very bittersweet for you...I am sure it was very hard and yet filled with love too..
I think of you and Gracie often.. and I posted a poem on my blog for all those mothers who have lost a precious child..For I too have lost one far too small.. If you would like to read it..
www.ponderingsinsa.blogspot.com/
I pray for you often.. I hope perhaps our girls will meet up and have a playdate whiled they wait for us.
Kerren
South Africa
Michele,
Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful, loving Mother. Gracie, Max, Taylor and Callie are very blessed to have you as their Mother. Gracie was lucky to have such a caring Mother to love her for the short while she was on this earth.
Hope your day is great.
Love,
Connie
I am sorry that you have to feel so much pain. I hope you do not mind, but yesterday in Relief Society I shared a little bit about Gracie and you. The lesson was about being valient in the gospel. I know that if I were ever to lose Roman to this battle with CHD that I can get through it because I can borrow from all the sweet testimonies of all the other heart moms who have had to make such the sacrifice of losing their children, but continue to bear witness that Jesus is the Christ and in his attonement. Thank you over and over for sharing your story with us. I know you write this for a record for yourself and your family, but you touch so many lives with your story. Hugs from Roman and his family in Georgia.
Gracie's tombstone is absolutely beautiful. I haven't been by her grave in a little while (the kids and I like to take flowers) so I am excited to go now and see the tombstone.
I know with all my heart yesterday must have been a very emotional day. Please know you are always in my prayers as well as hundreds of others praying for you daily, I am sure. Gracie will forever be remembered in all of our hearts. Happy Belated Mother's Day and i hope your home felt the peace of heaven yesterday as Gracie celebrated with you.
Lots of Love!!! (Mason's Mommy)
I thought you a ton yesterday. I truly hope you were able to feel some peace. I'm sure Gracie was right there with you. The headstone is beautiful. So sad, but beautiful.
I hope you had a great day and I bet you felt Gracie there with you. I love that saying!! So sweet. Tell Callie she did a great job on picking out the balloon. I am sure Gracie loved it too!
Tiffany Snow (we're in the same ward) told me about your blog the week before Gracie passed away. Every day I would get on, hoping and praying that things would turn out differently than they did. I haven't read your blog in a while, but I am so impressed with your writing! A group of us in Highland are in a writing group, with some of the ladies close to being published. Have you ever thought of writing a book? If you haven't already been approached about it(though I'd be surprised if you haven't already been approached), we could help you. What you've written could be so inspirational and helpful to many who have been through similar experiences. Let us know if you're interested. You can reach me at mkmurdock6@msn.com
I was thinking of you and Gracie yesterday. Gracie was so blessed to have you as her mother.
Another little Gracie miracle...obviously not the Mother's Day gift you would want, but a little whisper from heaven that she is watching you and loving you. Her headstone is absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to go see it. I hope your Mother's day was full of love, peace, and smiles!
Her headstone is beautiful. I'm thinking about you today also. I hope you feel Gracie's love watching over you and my thoughts and prayers with you continually.
Callie is such a sweet sister - those birthday balloons are precious commodities and I think it is so sweet she saved it for Gracie! What a bitter-sweet thing for your Mother's Day. I hope your day was not just bearable, but beautiful knowing you are Gracie's mom for eternity! Thinking of you and your sweet girl, still on a daily basis, and hoping its getting the tiniest bit easier.
Her headstone is beautiful. Happy Mother's Day to the most amazing mother I know...you!!!
Michele,
You were on my heart yesterday...all of these "firsts" without your sweet Gracie must be so difficult. Please know that you're thought of. Thank you for continuing to share this journey with all of us as we all know, we're never "out of the woods" with our heart babes. I miss a little girl I've never met and when I look at mine, I'll just never forget your Gracie Girl. As always, you're in my prayers. Lots of love to you...
I think of you and Gracie often and just hope that you can feel her prescence with you and your family. Her picture still brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye...
I just want to say how much I enjoy reading your blog. It always brings me right back to what is important in my life. My husband comes in the room and see's me crying and say's "are you looking at Gracie's blog again?" Even though we don't know you I have told him all about Gracie and your family. What a wonderful mom you are. I pray for your happiness.
My baby had immunizations today, and I thought about Gracie and all she went through. It was hard for me to watch Millie have 3 shots! What a remarkable little person Gracie is -- and she has a most amazing family. Happy Mother's Day!
Gracie's headstone is absolutely amazing and perfect! I got chills just looking at it on your blog and reading it and seeing her sweet picture on there. I am so amazed at how Gracie and your family still have such an impact on so many peoples lives. I think of you all very often and pray for the comforter to be with you especially at these harder days and moments that you have had and will have. I hope you had a great Mother's day surrounded by those who love you most! I'm so excited to hear that Paul's CD of Gracie's song is soon going to be released. We will be waiting anxiously to purchase it. Hang in there! With love, Staci Gee
Beautiful headstone, just like she is and you are. I hope you are doing well, I think of you very often.
i've never met you but i read your blog (on Emily Rice's blog). I feel as if I know your sweet Gracie. I always get choked up reading your blogs and I KNOW I feel her sweet spirit whenever I do. What a blessing you have given others to share your love for her with them. She is indeed an angel and you have been truly blessed to have had her and to know she waits for you. My heart goes out to you as I read your heartfelt words. I cannot imagine how you must feel. Your family is lovely and I know Gracie continues to feel the love from all of you. God Bless You!
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