Now she's gone. Life will now go on without her.
We have had an incredible outpouring of love and support. It has been completely overwhelming. I still have not had time to read the comments from our last few posts. I think I have about 1000 to read!! Life has been so busy planning Gracie's funeral and visiting with friends and family that I've hardly had a minute to really mourn Gracie. Now that the funeral is over, everybody goes home and goes back to their everyday life. It is odd in a way. You expect the world to be frozen while you grieve for your child. But it doesn't work out that way. Life goes on and a new normal begins.
Every day for the past 11 months and 10 days have been filled with incredible purpose taking care of my sweet Gracie. It is going to be huge adjustment this week as my kids go back to school and I resume the life I had almost two years ago before this all began.
I am waiting to get all of the pictures back before I post about Gracie's funeral. We had the same photographer that took our professional pictures come and take pictures at the funeral. It was an incredible couple of days.
I thought I would post a picture of me holding Gracie the night we got the call for Gracie's heart transplant. It is the last picture I have holding my 'healthy' baby. I held her briefly early in the morning of the transplant but I did not get a picture. And the pictures I have holding her that last day on ECMO are ones I don't really want to remember. Little did I know in this picture that I would hold her for the last time 9 days later. It still seems so surreal.The song on my playlist titled "I Am A Child Of God" has a special verse that was written for us moms who have lost a child. I thought I would post those lyrics: (thanks Heidi!)
I am a child of God and He has called me home.My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.
I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay.
You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.
I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms
One bright Celestial day.
--Donna Kulliard
124 comments:
I wish I had words. My heart literally breaks for you.
Get people around you who can guide you through this time, it will be most helpful. Grief is a roller-coaster ride.
Thank heavens we have the gospel knowledge to hold on to. It won't be nearly enough for a long time, but it will be better than not having it.
We continue to pray for you.
The Seiverts
My heart is filled tonight as I read your blog entry. The picture of you holding your dear Gracie is priceless. She was a beautiful girl and I can only imagine the work that she is fulfilling on the other side.
Yes, the funeral plans are over and you are resuming back to life as normal as possible, but please know their are many who are thinking of you. We cant understand the gravity of pain that is deep within your heart, however we have felt the spirit of your precious child...and it is humbling to think of how pure and perfect she was, so much that she was taken home early to her Heavenly Father. I have felt her spirit and know of her love for all of you. What an amazing gift to always cherish.
I will always remember Gracie...and your family. ALWAYS! I am reminded every day when I put my little Grayci to bed...and I can assure you, that I say Goodnight Grayci & Goodnight Gracie!
Hugs to you all!
Our thoughts and love for you will continue and remain while you strive to carry on...Your sweet Gracie will always be in your hearts!
Hugs-
Your family is in my prayers.
Gracie was such a beautiful little baby girl...and to think that someday you will pick up right where you left off and finish raising her into a beautiful young woman. Aren't we blessed to have this knowledge?
I thought about you and your family on Saturday and prayed for peace for you...I hope you can feel the prayers in your behalf.
I think of Gracie off and on through out the day although I never knew her or you. I hope that you know that she is a reminder of what is important and what following the path we know we should, will lead us all back to our eternal family. that is a gift you have given to me. I will think of her every night as I say my prayers. i wish that I could lighten your pain for even one second . I am so sorry for your loss, and so thankful for the reminder you have given me. It will make me a better person and strengthen my testimony.
As I excitedly walked out the door to see Gracie the night before her transplant, I saw my camera. It was Nick's birthday party the next day so I set it out. I grabbed it and threw in in my purse. I am so glad I did. These are such sweet pictures of Gracie. As I have looked at them, I've wondered; what she was thinking? What did she know? Was the veil starting to become thin? She seemed quiet that night, looking at all the excitement around her.
I missed her tonight, that is why I checked your blog. After seeing that picture, I miss her even more.
see that picture just makes me want to weep. I have been deeply affect by your story. eventhough I do not know your family I feel like I have known you for some time. just seeing that picture makes my heart ache. Gracie was such a beautiful baby. my thoughts and prayers continue to be with your family. she sure touched so many people in more ways than she will ever know.
Kandice
I truly wish I knew how to ease your pain in even the slightest way. You have been in my thoughts and prayers continuously over the past ten days. I have prayed for comfort, strength, courage, support and love, I know God will provide all of these for you and your family. The days ahead will be so hard, and I will continue to ask God to wrap his arms around you. As moms we take care of our own, but we often forget to take care of ourselves. Be sure to take care of yourself, Michele. Gracie has forever touched my life and I will be a better person and mother because of her. Gracie has brought me even closer to my Lord and Savior. I think of her with sadness for you and your family here on earth, but rejoice in knowing of her peace and glory in Heaven. I thank you for sharing Gracie with us. She will always be with me! Her spirit and soul reached out and touched me deeply.
What a beautiful picture of you two! What amazing little gir, sweet Gracie! God bless you all!
I've prayed for you in this very regard, the part where the whole world goes on while you are left with this tremendous void and this tremendous loss... I can't imagine.
I've tried to come in and leave you thoughts of comfort over the past days just to let you know, I have paused with you to remember where you are in your mourning... you are not alone... and in the moments when you feel this way, and I have no doubts they will come, never forget you have a whole world of friendships within this blog of Gracie's and any one of them would give anything to lend you that hand to help you stand once more.
I've waited for your words to come, knowing when they did, would you find them easily or would they be elusive?
You are a good mother and your love for all your children is worn right there on your sleeve for all to see.
God bless you and keep you close Michele and Tom as you walk this path...
With much love, respect and consideration and prayers, Livy
It is so interesting isn't it? You want to scream to all of the people eating lunch in the restaurant you walk by "Don't you know what is happening? Don't you know what happened to my family?" To all the people laughing with a friend, to all those who are mad they are a few minutes late for work.
They have no idea.
I remember this feeling while my son was so close to death for so long. On all the machines.....all the monitors......all the months in the PICU.... all the life and death decisions we were making everyday.... all the prayers all day long.
They don't know. But you will always be changed because of this. So will your other beautiful children. I have thought, and prayed for them so often these last few weeks. I pray you will be able to grieve for Gracie, while helping them grieve. It is such a huge responsibility to help them navigate this time, and I wish it were not on your shoulders as you deal with your own loss as a mother. But you will do great, you will be guided by the Spirit as you face these next weeks, months and years.
May you feel all our prayers. And know that so many of us DO know what is happening with your family. We do feel the horrible absence of Gracie. We cannot believe that another child has lost thier battle with CHD. We rejoice in eternal families.
Much love
Leanna
(Christina Davis' sister)
A great loss
This is part of a talk from Elder George Q. Cannon, I wanted to share....
"God loves us and does what is best for us, even when it hurts terribly, because sometimes the pain is necessary for our physical safety or spiritual growth. When we turn to Him in our trials, He comforts our hearts". "The saints should always remember that God sees not as man sees; that he does not willingly afflict his children, and that if he requires them to endure present privation and trial, it is that they may escape greater tribulations which would otherwise inevitably overtake them. If He deprives them of any present blessing, it is that he may bestow upon them greater and more glorious ones by-and-by".
Tom & Michelle you are in our prayers, The Dance Family
Michele,
I haven't written to express my sadness about your loss of your sweet baby Gracie because I too am at a loss for words. I don't know how to say how sorry I am or how to comfort you. I just pray for Heavenly Father to send the Comforter to hold you in his arms. Christ shares in your sorrow. He will be near you.
I am sure that Sister Maria Dominga meant to give you advice to help you, but you have every right to sorrow for her. Please don't let it hurt you more. Gracie's understanding is that of a mature spirit now, and she understands. Your music is reverent and reflective to me, not sad.
All my love to you and your dear family. Grandma B.
I am at a loss for words. Thanks for sharing so many of your thoughts, feelings and experiences. My life has been touched and influenced by Gracie and by you and all that you have accomplished through this experience. My thoughts and prayers will be for you in the coming days, weeks and months ahead.
Beautiful song and beautiful picture, Michele. You remain in my prayers, friend. I understand and am here for you.
Love and peace to you~ Rebecca
My heart is aching for you. Thank you for posting. I have thought of your family often in the last week. I will keep praying for you all!
I am at a loss for words. Your Gracie has changed me forever. I will never be the same. I check your blog everyday. Sometimes several times a day. I could look into her wise eyes forever. My heart aches with your family. Although we have never met. You hold a special place in my heart. My son will know of your champion Gracie. He will know her story. I have written about her in his journal about his year and a half stay in the hospital. She has affected all that I do. All that I see. Small things, seem just that, small. You are all amazing. Your story is life altering. I have read back to the begining. Spent many nights sobbing with you, from afar. Although, I will never know exactly what you are going through. I can never know exactly. Please know I think of you always. With love, Stacy, Chance, and Corbin
I hope all the children have a good day back at school after all this. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. Gracie was beautiful.
Those lyrics are beautiful! I read your sisters comment above and I am so glad she brought her camera. What a sweet picture.
My husband teases me for taking the camera everywhere I go (including the hospital). I'll never forget it again.
I am at a loss for words too. Gracie was and will continue to be one of our dearest heart friends. I don't know how to grieve. I don't know how you go on. I pray for you all the time!
Andrea
Still praying for your family and your kids. It has broken my heart reading your story. We've almost lost Jax twice and I can't imagine life without the oxygen, feeding pumps and especially Jax. What would I do, i would wonder aimlessly. And my other children would be devastated, I don't know how I would tell them. You are such a strong women and I really admire you.
Hugs from Lacey and Jax
The picture of you holding Gracie is so sweet. She is so beautiful and so perfect! It makes me cry to think of what transpired after the picture was taken. I wish I could take your pain away. I remember feeling the same way after my mom passed away. Your life has stopped and your sense of "normal" is gone while everyone else just seems to go on about their lives. For me, that was the weirdest part. I thought it was weird that all of the people that came to visit and to the funeral didn't stay stuck with our family in our new sense or reality. Michele, you will make it through this. You have an incredible testimony and Gracie will be there to comfort you. I know you will feel her. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
I am at a loss and think of you often. I think about Gracie girl and how she must feel amazing up there with her new body!!! It is the small moments in life that sometimes we take for granted-I will always cherish them because of Gracie. What a sweet angel.
Angie
I was thinking about your family on Saturday as I live in AZ and could not attend the funeral. I am so glad I had the chance to watch Gracie grow these last few months I have been reading your blog. There are no words to help you get through your grief and pain. You will be together again. I love that verse of I Am A Child Of God.
Aching for you and praying the Arms of our Father will reach where ours cannot to minister to the deepest hurts in your heart. Longing for the day He binds the brokenhearted and wipes away every tear!
I love that verse! Wow. It gave me huge goose bumps. I love those kind of goose bumps because it means the Spirit is near. I have had that awesome feeling MANY times while reading your posts. You remain in my prayers. Just like the verse says, all you have to do is endure and Gracie will be waiting for you. I am sure that is easier said then done. Hang in there and we will be right beside you.
thank you for posting those lyrics to I am a child of God. How true they are for mom's that have lost Their little ones. What comforting words. You are such an amazing women. Know that you are in my prayers. And Goodnight sweet baby Gracie. You are such an angel from up above.
The verse and your words have me in tears again. My mom went on and on about how the spirit was so strong at the funeral and just how amazing it was. I will never forget Gracie. My kids don't even know it, but they are lucky that Gracie lived and that you have shared her with us. I truly am a better mom because of your example. I am sorry for you loss but I am also very thankful to you for sharing her with us. Thanks!!!!
Your mom Connie, is a dear friend of mine, and so is Gary. I have been a silent follower of your blog. Your family has been an inspiration to me. As a mother and grandmother, I have felt compassion for the journey your family has been on. But through it all, your faith has buoyed me up in my everyday life. Your faith has strengthened my faith, and words cannot express the feelings I have felt as I have followed your emotions. I will always remember what you have endured and will share it with others as the need arises, and they will in turn be strenthened by your faith. I didn't say that very well, but thank you so much. I hope I can witness when you are reunited with Gracie.
Beautiful, comforting music on your playlist, I love the special verse of "I Am A Child Of God". I sent that to a dear lady in our ward who lost her baby about one year ago.
Michele, your words are still beautiful, you and Tom are amazing parents. Your blog has touched so many lives because of you Michele, you sharing your Gracie story.
My prayers are with you as you now have time to mourn your sweet baby Gracie Girl. Ashley said the funeral was beautiful, so glad she got to see you.
Love, Connie
You don't know me, but I also lost a baby to HLHS 11 years ago when he was 8 1/2 days old. I hurt for you and your family and pray for you. Thank you for the words to the song.
One more thing that might help your children. When we pray, we ask Heavenly Father to give our son a hug for us. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
I'm so sorry for your loss. There really are no words. Gracie was a beautiful little girl!! Please know I'm praying for you and the family.
Millie and Colin-HLHS
Dear Gledhil Family-
You don't know us personally but our daughter Karmindy was in a bed by cute little Gracie in the PICU back in May and the first of June 2008. I have been following Gracie's blog for awhile and want you to know that your family has been in our familys thoughts and prayers for the past while. We are truly sorry for your loss. Gracie was such a beautiful baby girl. May the lord comfort your darling family and you and your hubby at this time.
Heart Hugs!
The Frisbey Family
Mark, Ashlee, Kaleb and Karmindy
I understand how you are feeling. Seem when we are facing or in a tragedy, the world goes on and we want to scream. "Stop and help me. How can your life be so perfect?" I have struggled with this lately as my husband is having cancer surgery on the 18th at Huntsman. I know that everyone goes through trials and that no ones life is perfect, but soemtimes it feels that way. You will always long to have Gracie in your arms, buy what a blessing to know about Eternal Families. I am so sorry. I have cried for a little family that I don't even know. I have prayed for you and it has come back 10 fold as strangers have gotten on my blog to let me know they will fast and pray for us. People are wonderful. May the spirit of the Lord be with you family. {HUGS}
My prayers are with you and your family. I don't know you, I'm a friend of a friend...I lost our foster baby on 2-27 after a seven week picu struggle. I know her and Gracie are together with our Heavenly Father. I pray for strength as you find a new "normal". It will take time not to automatically call and check on her, or make plans for trips to the hospital. She will never be forgotten and her short time here on earth touched so many people. Blessings to you.
may you be truly filled with god's love and peace in this very uncertain time. i have been praying for you all...and i'm so at a loss for words, i will just say that i prayed the scripture reminding me "greater is He that is in us than he that is in th world"....
It is surreal to go in life, and go back to what is "normal". People think grieving is short lived, but it is always with you. I love that picture. I check in at your sister's Stephanie's blog and she has had the picture since the transplant, and I just love the bond of love seen so strongly. My favorite pictures of Ryker are the ones before everything went bad that day. My favorite is where the sun was pouring into the room and his hair is golden, and he is just snuggled in and sleeping. The words of that song are beautiful. I love the words, what sweet peace they bring. We are still here for you, and your family. It may feel weird posting about feelings and experiences, but we love every word. Everyone who knew Gracie from either the blog or personally has been touched. So hold on, the warmth and business of life will come again. Gracie is so close to you, and loves her sweet family.
Heart hugs,
Emily and Mike
To be given such a precious gift as Gracie and then have her taken to another realm will no doubt bring immense earthly pain. I think no one can truly have empathy for you unless they too have lost a child. It still seems so impossible not to have Gracie here with us. Even when she was on ECMO I just thought, "This is Gracie ------ she overcomes everything." Like you said it was not meant to be. We miss your Gracie too even though many of us never met her or your family. Our prayers continue for comfort to be with you and get you thru your days. Siri Holman
I'm so sorry about your loss of your sweet Gracie Girl. I found her blog just a couple of weeks ago and went and read all the posts and really felt like I got to know her as well as your family. I'm so sorry you will have to carry on without her in this life. I pray for comfort and peace for your family. Much love.
(((HUGS))) to you and your family...I wish I had the words to express to you how amazing I think you and your family are! My heart aches for you...and hearing Gracies story has changed me forever. I will never forget your family...I pray that you will feel Gracie near you and that you will have the strength to be there for your children with all you are going through. Please know that there are still many many people who are praying for you and thinking of you! I do think that it is so hard when people move on with their lives and you are still grieving. I love the verses you shared...I can NEVER read your blog without crying! thankyou so much for updating...
We are praying that you may have strength through this difficult time.
P. family
Those are beautiful lyrics to I am a child of God. My heart is shattering for you. I can't even begin to imagine the depth of your pain. Keep enduring. Hold fast to the scriptures and the words of the prophets. They will be a comfort and guide to you. I can absolutely promise that.
I just want to let you know how deeply Gracie has touched my life. I feel closer to my Heavenly Father because of her. Your family is so strong and amazing! Michelle your words always touch my heart. I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through right now but I pray that our loving Heavenly Father will continue to bless you all. Gracie Girl has touched so many lives. Thank you for sharing her life with us. Our prayers will continue for your sweet family.
I have thougth about you all week. I have asked myself the same questions as to how your life is just supposed to keep going? I have no answers but I do know that the sense of happiness and peace surrounding Gracie Friday night was unlike anything else. It gave me so much comfort, like she was letting everyone know that she IS okay. I continue to pray for your family. I think of you during the days and nights. May the Lord continue to be with you always. May you be given courage, when courage is needed. May you cry unto the Lord when you need to cry. And may you have GRACIE'S gift of HOPE with you ALWAYS.
I have never heard those verses of I am A Child of God. How beautiful and appropriate they are.
My prayers are with you and your family. Like you, when we lost our baby boy I was amazed that life went on as usual for others. I thought..how can that be??? While friends love you and are sorry, they are busy with living.... and life does go on.
In time the ache and the grief go away and is replaced with the sweet feeling of love and comfort. In time the sun will shine again for you and you will feel joy.
May God Bless you. Many are praying for you and sending you love.
We are praying for your continued comfort. I love reading your blog and learning from you. I hope that this journal will be a treasured possession as time forges on. The words and music are a beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl. As your other children grown, they will try to understand things with a new maturity. Your words will bring them comfort and strength. He never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it. Keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for sharing Gracie with people like me who have stumbled across her blog. She has touched my heart and I pray for your family.
Thank you for sharing those beautiful verses.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you mourn the loss of your sweet baby.
What beautiful words to that song. You are such an amazing mother. Thank you for sharing your tender thoughts. You and your sweet family have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a big hug! ((hug)) Sending you love and prayers from my heart to yours! Love Kelsi
I found this today when looking for music to listen to.
For the unaware, there is a process to healing hearts and minds that is marked by time and questions. Miracles is a punctuated look at that process. A glance at the song list shows that this newest offering chronicles a journey away from heartaches. The passage from darkness to light takes on several forms: the healing of emotional wounds, the spiritual rebirth of repentance, the psychology of helping loved ones through crises, and even Paul Cardall's personal musical development. The title track begins the album by acknowledging honest grief and resolving to overcome it. The middle of the album takes listeners through all the necessary passages: regret, denial, tears, solitude, introspection, and lasting acceptance. "Leaving L.A." can be a metaphor for taking flight from a modern representation of Babylon, and "Back to L.A." could describe returning to the world with the power to triumph over it. "The Memory Lives On" is Cardall's memorable first song with lyrics, featuring Kimberly Summers on vocals. The song was written for victims of the Oklahoma City bombing. Between his new styles and complex emotions, Cardall lifts audiences with this album. ~ Jared Johnson, All Music Guide
Irony is rarely an accident in my opinion.
Best Wishes and Prayers.
-Kat
I wish you didn't have to feel this void. I wish no parent had to feel the pain of losing a child. My prayers are with you and your family, and I just know that Gracie is in Heaven, healthy and happy.
I sure appreciate the time you took to post. We all know you are hurting, and it's a struggle to know we can't DO anything. I do, however, come here from time to time just to listen to the music and remind myself that life is precious and life is short and to thank God for all the blessings I really don't deserve. Thank you for sharing this story of Gracie's life with those of us who don't even know you, and for being such an outstanding example of a loving parent to the rest of us - I've been keeping "Gracie's Button" on my blog to remind me to keep your family in prayers.
God Bless you.
The heartache that I have for all of you is overwhelming. Gracie will be apart of our lives forever.
With Love,
Suzie
My heart breaks for your family. Praying for you.
You are STILL and ALWAYS will be in our thoughts and prayers. You are an AMAZING MOTHER and an AMAZING EXAMPLE!! May the Lord continue to bless you and your family!
Much LOVE!!
The Pettit's
(Teagan's Aunt and Uncle)
Thank you Michelle. Your words are beautiful, and what a perfect addition to such a sweet song. I will never forget Gracie.
I do not know you or your family, but recently read about sweet Gracie. Her story brings such strength and amazement to me. You are one strong Mommy, and she is so blessed to have you and your husband as her parents. Seeing that picture of you holding your sweet baby just makes me cry. I had a baby girl in November, she's sitting in her carseat next to me and I just weep when I look at her and read your blog. I've never had to go through anything like this, and to see you post such personal feelings and thoughts makes me realize how important it is to treasure our children and what we have. We never know how long they'll be with us, and I can't imagine what you are having to go through right now. Know that our Heavenly Father is beside you...your sweet Gracie will comfort you when you need it most. She is such a beautiful little girl and her eyes just pierce my soul when I look at her. She has a very strong spirit that must've been needed more on the other side. Thank you for sharing your story with so many people. I hope that with the coming days, weeks, months, and years, that you and your family will be able to adjust and remember the great blessings Gracie brought into your family. You truly are a choice daughter of our Father in Heaven, as was your sweet Daughter Gracie. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I have a great love for you and your family. May the sweet spirit of our Heavenly Father be with you, until "you meet again" with your little one.
Love, Becki
Michele,
I'm sure I'm just one of many who have buried a child who will tell you that the hardest part in many ways is still to come. As I look back over the last 8 years since my daughter passed away, the hardest memories I have were the days and weeks and even months after the funeral, after the insurance paperwork was filed, after my husband went back to work, after everyone else went back to normal... and I was only going through the motions of normal. But how do you know what "normal" is when you've never been where you're at right now? What is "normal" when you are forever changed from having her with you every day and she isn't there anymore? There is no "normal" right now... and life will never resume completely as it was before Gracie... and that's not only OK, it's wonderful. Let her effect linger with you and your family. She may not live here anymore, but she is still very much a vibrant part of your family.
Although it may still be a few more weeks, when the time comes that it seems as though everyone has forgotten... when no one mentions her name... when no one asks about her... or you... remember that you are not alone. There are so many of us who have walked in your shoes and will ALWAYS know and remember... but more importantly, your Savior knows and He remembers. He will carry you through every moment of this horrific long night that isn't yet over... and you will eventually find a new "normal" in the morning again. I hope that you can find time to read that book I gave you. It brought me tremendous comfort and I know it will you too.
With all my love,
Leslie Cluff
I just cant stop the flow of tears! I just feel so awful that I couldn't come to the funeral or viewing.
I love that baby girl so much
Michele.
We will be here for you if you need anything!!
Love the new lyrics to the song!
I've been thinking about you. Saturday night I was at a concert in Las Vegas with my husband and tears streamed down my face during the show and throughout the day as I thought with much guilt, "I should not be enjoying myself while a mother just experienced the passing, the funeral and burial of her baby."
Even though I don't know you I want to throw my arms around you and say "I love you and it will be okay." It WILL be okay. A loving Heavenly Father is always aware of your pain and suffering. I know He will sustain you and you will marvel at the tender mercies that will come your way.
You will see your beloved Gracie again.
Praying for you and your family!
Christy
Beautiful music. . .beautiful daughter. . .all I can offer is prayer. I am so sorry for such a devastating loss...there are no words.
Michele you are constantly in my thoughts! Please know we will continue to pray for you and your family. Please call me if you ever need to chat or cry etc.... I do care about you a lot and can only imagine this to be an extremely tough time. with love and hugs
I just want you to know that I have thought about Gracie and your family ever since I stumbled upon your blog a little more than 11 months ago. I truly consider it a blessing that I happened upon your blog I dont even know how to explain the feeling I get as I read your posts I just know that the spirit is so strong. Thank you for sharing your journey with Gracie with us, you have a beautiful way with words and what a treasure this blog and the journal enteries will be for you and your family to look back on over the years. I really am touched by the spirit and lessons that you and especially your sweet baby girl have taught me over the months...thank you for sharing.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and will continue to be for time to come. I just dont know how to express myself on here, I am just so overwhelmed, sad, grateful...just know that I have been greatly impacted for life....
Michele,
We wish we could have come to Gracie's funeral. (It did get discussed in length) We love you guys and we all continue to pray for your family and Gracie. She was so lucky to come to such an amazing family. Thank you for your testimony and strength. That is truely what will carry you through these hard times. Know your family is in our thoughts and prayers.
Michele,
Sorry that last blog was from Tim, Carrie and Family. I forgot I changed my posting name from Moline's to Mother Hen.
Just wanted you to know your family is in our prayers daily.
Love,
Cami Lindquist
My heart aches for your and your family. I came here through some other blogs and as I am a mommy who last her daughter as well I truly feel with you. My babygirl died due to pulmonary hypertension, nearly 1 year ago, at the the age of 9 months.
I wish you a lot of caring people around you, who you can guide you through dark hours and be there for you if needed. Be quite if needed. Your beautifull babygirl will be around you, although you can`t see her.
I`ll send you and your family a big hug from North Rhine Westfalia, Germany.
Claudia,
mommy to Mia
Wow! That special verse of I am a child of God really got me. Your families strength is amazing and I pray every day for you to be blessed with peace and comfort. I know there will be lots of ups and downs but I know the Lord will give you what you need to get through it all. Sending you my love.
I have had your family on my thoughts and in prayers since I first heard your story.
Know that Gracie has touched our lives and your testimony has as well.
What a beautiful song.
Thank you for sharing sweet Gracie with us.
Dear Michele,
Looking into Gracie's sparkling eyes, her beautiful smile and pure spirit, we can see your love for her. I am just so sorry for her passing away and I wish I had the magical words to help you go through these incredibly difficult time of your life. Please allow yourself to grief, be sad and cry. Gracie wouldn't be sad to see you cry. She would just put her arms around you and love you.
While I never met you and only know a little bit of you through your blog, we will always pray for you and your family. You have changed our life for the best and make us appreciate every little joy in life. Every night when I put my kids to bed, I say good night to them, to you, Gracie and your family.
Dear Michele, we love you and wish you all the stength and courage to to go on with your daily life, feeling Gracie's spirit carrying you.
-Isabelle
We lost our baby girl on May 16, 2008. She was supposed to have the berlin heart put in that day but God called her home instead. Some of what your Gracie went through at the end is exactly what Lindsay went through. Reading your blogs brought back all the same feelings that you shared. We also held her in our arms while she was on ECMO. I would encourage you to still write on your blog. I do and I have found it very healing to share my heart. Plus that gives people specifics to pray for. Trust me it hasn't gotten easier for us yet either and it hasn't been a year yet. But God is in control and He will bring you through this. I encourage you to read Psalm 139. This passage of scripture has helped me during this awful time in our lives. Hold on to Jesus!!
I know that we don't know each other but I am more than willing to help you walk through this. My email address is jonnlaura@hotmail.com. I will also give you our Lindsay's blog lindsaykeswick.blogspot.com.
I am sure that Lindsay and Annabelle were there to meet your Gracie. Oh if we could look into heaven and see them playing together.
Love,
Laura Groen
Dear Gledhill Family,
I came across your blog through Mindi and Matt Cox. I work for the same company as Mindi.
I have followed your story and have cried, rejoiced, prayed and cried again for Gracie.
We know Gracie is in a far better place than we can ever imagine and Heavenly Father has her in the palm of his hand.
Gracie and I share the same birthday, so now I have an angel in heaven that shares my birthday.
Prayers and sincere thoughts are with you.
Michele:
My heart continues to ache for you. I'm so sorry that you now have a HUGE void in your life. It will be a year on friday that Wyatt died...my heart continues to ache and I'm still trying to learn to live when a part of me isn't. It's tuff but there is strength in relying upon Heavenly Father. If you ever need someone to talk to that knows the ache you feel let me know. Again, my thougths and prayers are with you.
Love,
Andrea
Wyatt's mommy
andrealarsen2002@yahoo.com
Bless your precious heart! I still cry when I read your posts. I can't imagine how a new normal can even happen, but I know it will! God will heal this hurt. I know you will never ever ever forget it, but in time you will be whole again! Gracie must be so proud to have such unbelievable strong and faithful parents! I bet she is in Heaven right now bragging to all the other babies just how amazing you guys are!
All these years, and I've not ever heard those lyrics! Thanks for posting them. I understand the wanting the world to stand still. I don't understand all you are going through, but know something of grief and hope I can help in some way. I don't know how, but figured I could at least post to let you know I stopped by.
Continuing to pray for peace of mind, healing and rest for your entire family.
With His Everlasting Love,
Kaye
Psalm 46:10
Thank you for sharing your sweet Gracie girl with all of us. I don't think any of us will ever be the same- she has definately made me have a new perspective in my own life. Thank you! Your family is in my prayers...
Your story leaves me in tears!! I lost a little boy when he was 16 months old, and the pain is so real and devastating. All I remember thinking after it happened was where would I be without the gospel in my life. The strongest people in the world are those that have lost a child and can still see the good in the world. If you need someone to talk to that has also lost a child I would love to talk to you. e-mail me thebrittainfamily@msn.com
O I was so happy to hear from you today. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't have the words to express how sad I am for you. My heart aches and I will never be the same, Gracie has taught me so much.
I love those three verses to I am a Child of God. I lost a baby at 15 weeks gestation and he will always be a part of our family. It brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat to think of how dearly you miss Gracie. It's OK to cry and mourn and miss her. Life does go on, but I found it much easier when people around me knew I was hurting and missing my little baby. I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to Gracie so soon. My littlest turned one on March 5th. He probably knew your Gracie in heaven. I'll squeeze him even tighter tomorrow. Love to you.
What beautiful verses to a song that I loved so much to begin with. Those verses make me love it even more. I haven't personally experienced the loss of a child, but my husband had a sister who passed away at a young age, and he has always had a very, very special and strong bond with her. Those verses remind me of the fact that our little family is not only working to return to God, but also to be reunited with Shannon, so my husband can hug his sister and share his love for her in person.
Your site is beautiful! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with strangers like me. It really touches me and strengthens my testimony.
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers...Gracie will be greatly missed and our hearts go out to your family. Love to you all and I'm so happy to hear that Paul played at Gracie's funeral, what an honor...everytime I hear/sing that song in the future, I'll always think of sweet Gracie girl. God bless her and your family.
Wow. You always just have such a way with words. Your sweet children are so blessed to have a mom like you. What an example you have been to all of us of what a mom should be. That photo of you and Gracie is priceless. It really captures your love and concern. And thanks for sharing those verses of "I Am A Child Of God." Simply beautiful.
I continue to keep your family in my prayers and my heart cries for you when I read your blog or think of your loss. I love those 'extra' verses to such a beautiful hymn. The picture of you and Gracie is just perfect. What a special moment.
I LOVE the picture of you and Gracie you both are beautiful and radiate so much love. We aare still praying for and rooting for you guys
We think of you every day.
Michele,
I know you don't know me. I am Jon and Jone Varneys daughter. My parents think the world of you and your darling family.
My Mom told me about your blog. I have loved reading it. I can't help, but cry and feel the spirt when I read it.
Gracie is a beautiful baby and has touched my life without even knowing her. Thankyou for sharing her with us. You are truley amazing and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Torie Christofferson
Michele,
I am so glad we decided to come to Gracie's funeral. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. She was such a special little girl as was evident by the amount of people who came to the viewing and funeral. I loved the balloons. We are grateful for the gospel and are continuing to pray for your family as you adjust to your new normal. With much love,
Shari (Tiff's mom)
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your little girl. My word she is gorgeous. I can only imagine how beauitful she is now admist all the radiant glory of Heaven.
My boy also passed away recently after a run on ECMO. My heart aches for you. You are in my prayers.
Michele- I wish I could say something but I only have tears. I absolutely can not imagine what you are going through but you are such an inspiration to me! I am amazed at your strength. How blessed Gracie is to have you for her mommy! Please know that she will forever live in my heart and I will never forget her story. I know I didn't find your blog until a few weeks ago but it has made a profound difference in my life. Thank you for sharing Gracie with me!
The revised "I am a Child of God" song is beautiful. I am thinking of you and your family alot.
I am so sorry to hear of Gracie's passing, my heart goes out to you and your family at this time of sorrow. You don't know me and I don't even remember how I found Gracie's blog but I have been following her story for some time now. I too had a daughter pass away she was older and we spent a few years at primary children's what a wonderful place we are so blessed to have it so close to us. One thing I have learned is that this is not something you ever get over like some people like to put it. It is something you just have to get use to. I would like to share my favorite saying with you. Those we love don't go away they walk beside us everyday, unseen, unheard we know their near, still loved, still missed and forever dear.I find alot of comfort in this saying I hope you will too.
I don't have words to express how sas I am for your family. I found your blog off Paul's blog which I found off KSL.
I am so sorry for your loss. I sit here with my healthy baby snoring 5 feet from me and just ache for you. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child.
I read from the bottom of your blog, and cannot stop the tears from flowing.
May the words of our Savior give you rest: Matt 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
I am mourning with your family. Thank you for sharing your story.
May the Lord bless you and give you peace.
i found you through cjane (courtney) and it is funny how these things happen. i lost my first child three months ago today. cooper also had a congenital heart defect and had surgery at 3 weeks old. he died 24 hours after surgery. i am missing cooper terribly today.
i know the pain you feel and wish that i could take it away.
i am hokding you and your fmaily close to my heart.
lucinda
i found your blog from c jane and i can't stop the tears now as i read about your sweet gracie. she is just gorgeous. it is a comfort to me - a complete stranger - to know that you'll see her again and she is happy.
God bless you and comfort you and your family...
You don't know me, but I cried for you today. Thank you for sharing Grace with us. She is beautiful. May God be with you, now & always.
What a beautiful little girl Gracie is! My heart is breaking for you. I pray for you and your family as you move into this new reality. Gracie was blessed to have such a loving family.
I am still basking in the amazing spirit from Gracie's funeral...It was a lot to take in. You should be so proud of every minute you spent taking care of her and how you have honored her in so many ways. What beautiful and perfect words in that verse of I am a Child of God. I am still playing that song in my free time...I am so glad I learned it. It will always remind me of Gracie. Any time you want a private concert, let me know.:) I can't wait to see the pictures taken the day of her funeral - it was an incredible day I won't every forget.
Love Nat
I don't know you. Found your blog on cjane's. I am crying as I write this. Just wanted to say that you are in our prayers.
I love the extra verses to I am a Child of God. That is beautiful.
What a sweet and beautiful girl!
Those lyrics are so sweet and full of hope. It's so nice to think of your sweet Gracie walking beside you and comforting you now. Big Hugs!
I'm crying my eyes out right now for little gracie~whom I've never met. LIfe is so precious and your gracie was so lucky to have you. Your picture of you holding her says it all...I am so sorry Words cannot even express it. I will pray for you and your family and I will think about gracie every time I hold my little ones.
your sister in Zion
misty
I am so sorry for your loss! Your sweet family and precious baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers! She is so beautiful and is working so hard on the other side and soon, very soon our Savior Jesus Christ will come agian and you will be able to raise her in love and righteousness on this earth. What a glorious day!Again, you are in my thoughts and prayers!
I have been singing that song all my life and have never heard that verse. It is so beautiful it made me cry again. Please know that there are so many of us "out here" that you do not know that are praying for you. I think about you and your family throughout the day and pray that the spirit will continue to comfort and strengthen you.
I am so, so sorry. I can't imagine going through such a difficult year and have to say goodbye to a sweet little girl. My heart breaks for you and your family, but like you, I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and for families, and you will see your beautiful girl again.
I hope the Spirit gives you an extra measure of comfort, especially in the most difficult times.
My heart aches for you and your family. You are an example of faith and endurance to thousands around the world. What a wonderful blessing it is to know that you WILL see your Gracie again someday. We are praying for you and you family.
Michele...I think we have maybe met a few times at family reunions or such years ago, my dad is Rod Snow, cousins with your dad Grant. I came across your blog and had heard about Gracie months ago, I am so sorry for your loss, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God give you the peace and strength to carry on.
Sara Snow Gillespie
Many tears have been shed for your family. How blessed you are to forever have an angel watching over you! What a sweetie!
I pray that our Heavenly Father will send his most generous comforts at this time and in the future when the hurt is too much to stand.
Go to the temple. There you will get closer to your angel.
Lots of love to you all at this time! God Bless!
You don't know me, and I almost didn't want to post here, because I don't have words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss....
My son is two days younger than your sweet Gracie, and I just felt like I should tell you how much your blog has caused me to slow down a little bit and enjoy the times I have with him and his brothers. Thank you so very much for that.
I am so very sorry for your heart break and loss. I am thankful though that you have the knowledge of where your sweet girl is and I pray that will ease some of your pains. I know how much our Father must love you to have trusted you with that angel for her time here on earth. May he continue to be with you and your family.
Thank you!
Katie Carleski
I can thinking of no greater comfort than that, that the gospel brings. It's a blessing to know that you have such a valiant spirit who has already proven herself worthy. She will always have that precious spirit, untouched by the things of the world.
I am so sorry that you have to be away from her, but glad to know you will be reunited with her someday. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
I was lead to your blog by a friend of mine. I am at a complete loss for words. I just want you to know that I will be praying for you and your family during this time of recovery. I am in awe of your strength and ability to share this story with so many. What a beautiful family you have. I pray that our Lord will surround you with peace and provide all that you need to begin this new chapter in your lives together.
Gledhill Family,
We read your beautiful Gracie's obituary in the paper and we were to touched by it. Our hearts ache for you. May you continue to find the comfort and peace that has helped you through this journey. Sincerely, The Ashton's (Misty Bishop's mom and dad)
My heart breaks for your sweet family. What a blessing to have such a delightful baby girl, and what a tragedy to have to let her go. I lost my brother four years ago in a car accident. Your story has brought back so much of the emotion from that time. There is truly no greater loss than losing your child.
I would like to share with you this online broadcast: www.thegriefblog.com. It is specifically for those who have suffered profound loss, such as yours. Others will go on with their lives, but there is a community of people who have survived this kind of tragedy who understand that life will never be the same regardless of the time that passes. We will support you.
What a beautiful smile she has.
And what a beautiful family.
Sending love and hugs from Jane in Melbourne, Australia
I don't know you, but have followed your sweet blog from CJanes. You are amazing parents. I truly weep for you loss, but smile for your reunion one day. Please know that you have people praying for your family. Much love-Ashley from Idaho
What a precious baby girl... thank you for sharing your story, and strengthening my faith. Families are forever... what a blessing from our loving Heavenly Father!!
My heart is full of warmth and peace for you and your family. Our little boy was born with the same sick heart 8+ years ago. He is still hanging on, but I know how one phone call can change everything. Thank heavens for our knowledge of the Savior's Plan for us. What comfort that is! God bless you, your husband, and those sweet siblings waiting here on earth to see your Gracie again. You have touched my heart!
We also had a baby with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He was our 2nd child and born in 1996. The options were not as good back then and he died after 8 days. I am so sorry you also had to go through such heartbreak. I have just started a blog, but have not been able to blog about him yet. It still hurts too much, though I am LDS also and believe and understand as you do. Maybe I will write about it for his birthday in June. Feel free to contact me if you would ever like to. I feel like we belong to the same "club".
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My daughter died when she was 8 months old. That was 5 1/2 years ago. It still hurts.
I can promise you that it will not always be the intense pain that you feel right now. It never gets easier, just different.
Please feel free to email me if you want to talk. I know it is terribly hard and painful.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry
Your are so brave. Special children come to special families. God Bless.
What a beautiful little light in your lives for awhile to show you love and joy.
We lost a little one also.
If you feel yourself stuck, a book I recommend is Gone Too Soon which can sometimes be found at Seagull Book and Tape (in Utah). Allow yourself time to grieve and mourn.
You still have faith.
It is okay to be angry.
God still loves you.
He always will.
Hello again. I posted a few days ago, but since I found your blog I have been thinking constantly about little Gracie, cried many many tears, and prayed for your little family. I have spent the last few days reading every word of Gracie's story from the beginning. What a lovely little girl, and what a trial! No mother and father should have to see their baby suffer so. My heart aches for you. However, from losing my little brother, I KNOW that our Father only takes his most vibrant spirits back to him to do his most important work.
From your story, I too have learned to slow down and cherish every moment with my baby girl, who is a month younger than Gracie. I have taken the time to thank Heavenly Father over and over that she is healthy.
Here is something that may help: http://www.amazon.com/Worst-Loss-Families-Death-Child/dp/080503241X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1237179860&sr=1-1
"I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me." Phillipians 4:13
Hi, you don't know me but I am a friend of a friend. She recommended I come read the new verses to I am a Child of God. Thank you so much for your blog. If I ever experience such a loss, your blog will help me through it. Thank you for your shinning examples & testimonies of gospel principles. I wish you the best & will pray for you & your family.
Ok I am Leslie smiths neice so I dont know you but I read this and i am BAWLING!!! Well at least there is a plan and we will all live together again
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