Instead of Tears......

Instead of tears.....I hope this post brings a smile. It's amazing how much entertainment can come out of a couple of ratty, goofy, random wigs. Nice bruise on Callie's chin....remnants of two different falls onto the same spot on her face. Life goes on and we will continue to find joy in the journey. One of my favorite quotes is "Enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things."
pictures taken 4-22-09

Thinking about my GG

Gracie, 6 months old in this picture.

Just thinking about my girl today and missing her. Today she would have been 14 months old.

This is one of my favorite pictures of her, being held by one of her biggest fans, my mom. I don't know what it is about this picture that is so striking to me. I like the coloring, the red flowers in the corner, her sweet face looking so peaceful and content, her little fingers with her girly bracelet hanging off her wrist, her cute little hair with a line down the center where her bow used to be, the feeling of pure love from a grandma.......everything about it is special.

It's amazing to think that we took hundreds of pictures of Gracie but now I feel like it's not enough. I wish I had more. I actually wish I had more good pictures of her, I have a lot of hospital pictures but those are not the ones that I tend to look at. All you have are pictures and videos when your loved one is gone......and I don't think it's possible to have too many. So, that is the challenge for me and for you this summer, take more pictures of your loved ones.....take more than usual at that family party, family reunion or picnic or just your every day events. They will be priceless to someone someday.

Gracie's Name In The Sand

Gracie Jean Gledhill

March 20, 2008-March 2, 2009

We love you Gracie Girl!

There is a neat website called http://www.namesinthesand.net/ that originates out of Australia (I think). The people running the website lost a child of their own and started writing 'angel children's' names in the sand as a way to help bereaved families. It is free service and they only put their email address on their website for one day a week and then take it off. They get 150-200 requests just on that one day that they list their email address. They only do children who have passed away, not adults. They rely on donations to keep their site up and running. What a neat thing to do for other people. I love the picture. It's the next best thing to living near a beach myself!

Mother's Day/Gracie's Headstone

Me and my girls last Mother's Day.......

.........

and then this year.....today we got the call that Gracie's headstone had been placed. The timing is bittersweet, the day before Mother's Day.

This is Callie yesterday, holding the balloon she got from a birthday party. She wanted to bring it to Gracie's grave and let it go.
Watching her balloon fly away.
Callie picked this My Little Pony balloon at the store.



We got the call today that Gracie's headstone had been placed. Tom and I immediately drove down to see it. We were pleased with how it turned out. Seeing it there makes it 'official' and sad. Through some tears I sarcastically said "Happy Mother's Day to me". I couldn't help but feel the irony of the whole situation. I am glad that she has more than a silver marker on her grave now. Seeing her picture there will help me feel closer to her when I visit.



I had already been thinking of Gracie more over the last few days with Mother's Day coming up on Sunday. Friday, I decided I would like to take a balloon to her grave because I was thinking of her. Callie and I went to the store and I let her pick out the balloon. She picked My Little Pony and brought along a purple balloon that she had leftover from a birthday party that she wanted to let off. It was really windy and a little chilly so we didn't stay long. Surprisingly, her headstone would be placed the very next day. Callie let go of her balloon and watched it disappear into the clouds.


I know all the 'first' holidays without her will be the hardest but Mother's Day will most likely remain the one that I reflect on Gracie the most. It will probably always bring a twinge of sadness in some form or another. However, some people never have the chance to be a mother. I have been blessed to have four beautiful children and I am extremely grateful for that. Mother's Day will have a different feeling to it now. Knowing that I have a sweet baby waiting for me in heaven is something special.

Thanks to all of you who have already sent me emails and facebook messages that you are thinking of me this Mother's Day, how very thoughtful of you. I hope all of you have a good Mother's Day too. I have received the following saying a couple of times from some very nice blog friends, it says:


"The best way to have Heaven in your home.............is to have someone from your home in Heaven."


I look forward to a bittersweet day tomorrow. Having fun with the three kids I have here with me and thinking in my heart always of the one who is watching over us.