Paul playing 'Gracie's Theme' at the concert. (picture taken by the Deseret News)
This post is a little late but I say better late than never! The Deseret News is doing a series of articles about Paul waiting for a heart transplant. This article came out Saturday, April 11th. The first one appeared on the day of Gracie's obituary (I don't think it was a coincidence!) We have saved every article but wanted to post the link to this one because they talked all about the Living for Eden concert and then talked about Paul playing 'Gracie's Theme'. Here is what the article said about Gracie:
The family of Gracie Gledhill, an infant who was one of Cardall's fellow patients at Primary Children's Medical Center, was honored with a tribute to their daughter, who died last month after surviving only a year with a congenital heart defect. Her funeral had been Cardall's only public performance since he was listed for a transplant last August.
He spoke of his fellow patients at Primary Children's, most of them decades younger than he and wondering what the future holds. "I have great faith in the future," he said. "Whether or not it turns out the way some of us want it to, I know there is a great thing called 'families are forever.'"
With that, he sat down and played the only song he's written in the past several months, dedicating the performance of "Gracie's Theme" to Dr. John Hawkins, "who is also fighting for his life." When it was finished, the little girl danced over the oxygen cord and into the arms of the man at the piano — the one who works every day at living for Eden.
Read the rest of the article here.
We have enjoyed getting to know the Cardall's. They are a wonderful family, so faithful in Christ and all around fun people. We have been so humbled by the blessings that continue to come from our associations with all of you who have supported us over this past year.
I started this blog a few weeks after we found out about Gracie's heart condition when I was about 23 weeks along. The purpose was to keep family and friends in the loop as to what was going on with our baby but it turned into much, much more.
The blog has given me:
--strength from the comments and emails of my friends/family and all the new friends that we have met through this online world. I would not have had near the support if people just 'heard I had a sick baby in the hospital'.
--an irreplaceable journal of every important detail of Gracie's life. I have hundreds of emails from friends and strangers that I will keep as part of her story.
--a way to meet, support and keep in contact with other heart families linked through our blog. I have formed friendships that I hope will last for a long time.
--a reason to be more conscious of the everyday details that I turned into blog entries. Some memories, I am convinced I would not have recorded without the blog.
--an outlet where I could share Gracie's spirit and her special mission on earth in a way that has touched others for good.
I have often thought of what will become of this blog. It has served our family well and was a great way for me to feel like I was doing something 'for her' sometimes when I could not be with her, sometimes when I could not hold her and sometimes just while she was sleeping at home. The blog is now a place where I can go to see her picture, listen to 'her' music and read past entries/comments about her life.
Since I created a private family blog several months back, I'm sure that I will start to blog more and more on that one and less and less on this one. This one was devoted just to Gracie and now that she is gone, I will have less and less things to write about. I don't want it to be a place for gloom and doom all the time. Sometimes I feel like putting a disclaimer at the top of my blog that warns people not to read it if they don't want to be depressed! :(
We know that Gracie is in a better place and that she is with our Heavenly Father and Jesus and is purely happy. It is just hard for all of us left here on this earth because we miss her dearly.
Thanks again for all of your love and support, we have truly been overwhelmed by the letters, comments, blog entries and emails of stories telling us how Gracie has changed your lives for good. In the midst of our great sorrow, your words of kindness and attachment to Gracie and her memory is what gives us great peace and happiness.
35 comments:
I just wanted to thank you for creating this blog. I found it through a couple of other blogs, and I even noticed that through one of my friends' blogs that she is apparently a friend of your sister's. It is a small world after all...
I want you to know that I never saw this blog as doom and gloom. I think I have cried every single time that I look at this blog but it's tears of comfort and realization of all that "I" have. It has also made me more aware of all those in need of heart transplants and surgeries. I never realized how many people have these concerns. I just found out that a cousin of mine is now seeing a Dr. for some heart problems they can't figure out. It encourages me to help out in any way I can.
I also want to thank you for the music on here as it has been so peaceful to hear while I'm reading all the happenings. It also makes it easier to be in tune with the spirit. I know it is appropriate to turn more to your private blog, but I hope you will keep this open as a way for those with and without heart concerns to read. It truly does help one understand that this life is just a temporary time and that Heavenly Father does know each one of us and is there for all of us.
I wish the best for your family and thank you for sharing such a difficult time with so many people. You have brought me much peace and a need to do better in this world. Thank you, again.
That is so neat that it was in the paper. Thanks for sharing that. I love that you are posting everything that is going on i love reading your blog and seeing all that's going on. You guys are in my prayers daily.
I found your blog through CJane.
My heart has ached for you, been sad for you, and felt peace for you. Thank you so much for being willing to let others follow your families story.
A dear friend of mine had triplets quite a few years ago. Two girls and one little boy. One of her sweet little girls had many health issues resulting from a mistake made in the hospital. At 14mo. old she passed away. When I heard the news (we lived in a different state at the time and about 3 weeks had passed) I immediately called her. I remember her saying..."You know, I have always had the Celestial Kingdom as my goal. I have always tried so hard to make sure I was doing what was right so I could return there one day. Now that I have a daughter who will be there, I HAVE to make it there."
I have 5 daughters ages 11 years to 7 months. I have cried for you and prayed for you. I have prayed in my heart for your children especially your Max.
My 7 years old was looking over my shoulder one evening as I read your blog. I told her about what had happened and that little Gracie had gone back to Heavenly Father. She put on a brave face and listened and then turned to walk into the other room. I called her back in to me and could tell she had tears welling up in her eyes. (This is a little girl who recently got stitches by her eye and didn't flinch! She does not like to show emotion.)
I wrapped my arms around her and she sobbed. We talked about loving each other each day, and being grateful for life.
Thank you for letting me read your story. Thank you for allowing me to remember Gracie as I squeeze my little ones twice, as I kiss them more than once, and as I pray for them always.
Blogs are so unique because they allow the raw emotion of a story to be felt by anyone who reads them. Before I began reading blogs, I was sad when I read a news story or heard about a sick child. Reading firsthand accounts of families on blogs is completely different. My heart breaks, I sob, and I am forever changed because of blogs like yours. There is no escaping the tears when I see Gracie's smiling face at the top of your blog.
I am so glad that you have this blog to capture Gracie's story. And I'm so glad that you shared Gracie with total strangers. I don't think it's possible for anyone to read about Gracie and not be changed in some way. No disclaimers are needed on Gracie's blog. This is her story. These are the emotions that are her story. This is your outlet for those emotions. Friends, family and strangers are here to share in those emotions with you. Yes I cry every time I visit this blog, even when I think about Gracie. But I choose to continue to visit and remember her. I don't think of it as a dark depressing experience. As long as Gracie's blog is available on the internet I will visit even if no new content is added!
ahhhhh....so sweet.
Your blog gives me hope that there is still unwavering,solid love left in the world. Your family inspires me to be a better person and makes me want to put the petty stuff aside and hug and kiss my children. Your strength and ambition inspires me and I am so happy I found your blog....
Gracie was and still is such an amazing little girl... She has touched the lives of all who have read her blog in one way or another...
I will never forget beautiful little Gracie girl.... I think of her and her courageous fight often..... She was so small, yet she was so strong...
I can't say thank you enough for sharing her and your family's personal story with us.....
xoxoxoxoxoxo
<3 <3 <3
Alyson
http://wellensfamily.blogspot.com
On the contrary, I have always been amazed at your ability to stay positive and uplifted throughout this experience. It is easy for blogs to become outlets for frustration and complaint, but this is not true for you. I do not doubt that in private moments you are devastated, frustrated, and angry. But you have always conveyed hope and trust in the Lord in your blog posts. This is not a place that is depressing. It is a place FULL of love for a sweet little girl, that reminds me of the things that are the most important in life. I feel so much sadness and compassion for your family. But this sadness leads me to be grateful for the great plan that we are so blessed to know, and I am compelled to be a better mother, more patient, and more loving with the little people I have been trusted with.
Thank you for continuing to write. We all love Gracie, and I hope that writing about her will help you heal.
We lossed our daughter Lindsay almost a year ago on May 16,2008. We also have a blog and I would encourage you to keep it going. For me it has been a good source of healing just to share my feelings and let everyone know how we are doing. We have had people tell us that they still check the blog everyday and that they are still praying for our family. I just thought I would pass this along from another Mom who misses her little girl very much.
Laura Groen
http://lindsaykeswick.blogspot.com/
I still check in here, although I admit it has made it difficult for me to do so. I started my blog with a completely different purpose: to let all those raw, tender, sometimes so dark, deep, painful, negative, ugly feelings out. I find writing about the journey I am on, this grief journey, has been useful. I certainly believe it is not meant to be uplifting for others to read, although, I do hope that readers might glean some sense of how to be more compassionate, caring, thoughtful, helpful... to those they know IN their lives who are also on their own journey of grief. For people to realize that even with the Truth, even with a firm testimony, the support and love of those in our lives can make the difference. If you don't write here on this blog anymore, I would encourage you to write somewhere. Like you said, on a personal blog, or in a journal, or somewhere. Just as it was so important to gain the benefits you did with the blog for Gracie, your children and posterity will greatly appreciate the insights you will have from going through this life without her physically present in your life. You will benefit to see your own transformation. And writing also helps us to process things. I know that you had time with Gracie in utero to contemplate the reality that she may only have a short life time. Her death may not have been a complete surprise, but it is still a shock on a mother's tender soul. A shock to the family, and certainly an adjustment. Even with the deepest, firmest faith, it is a challenge somedays. A struggle. And writing helps us to recognize where the battles are and sometimes we can fight with the pen so much more directly than in anyway. So for what it's worth. I'm encouraging you to keep writing -- somewhere. And just because Gracie isn't tangibly here, she is a part of your eternal family. Eternity includes now. ;) So in small ways, or big (such as the concert and "Gracie's Theme") she will continue to be a part of your lives. She will continue to have an influene (see my blog post titled "depth" if you want more of what I mean on that).
Dear Michele,
When you mentioned blogging less I felt my heart sink. Even though I never knew Gracie I still have an urge for her story to continue, for you to keep the memories of her alive through this blog. I have never felt depressed after reading any of your postings. From the ECMO to the funeral photos, there is always a glimer HOPE in your voice. Each post is extremly sad but leaves something precious to hold on to. Thank you sharing your baby girl with us and for sharing your pain. I still think of Gracie and your family each day.
Love,
Amy
PS-I'll look forward to seeing "Gracie's Tree" in December.
Michele, thanks for sharing the article.
You know Gracie changed our life forever. The countless miracles that allowed her to spend another day with her family and bring hope to many others, like us.
I am so scared about what Owen's future holds, the outlook is always so grim. I keep hearing "his chance of actually getting a heart is 5%, the chance of rejecting that heart is incredible". Darn Antibodies!
I read your blog and I am amazed at how well you are handling things. I am so thankful for the gospel and to know we can be together eternally. It don't know how I would deal with the sorrow of not having today though.
Owen sleeps alot and I find myself waking him up, just so I have an extra moment or two with him. It's so strange. I hear of babies and toddlers passing away everyday of head trauma or drownings and I can't help but wonder if the parents made the decision to donate their heart. I know it's so selfish of me, but I can't help it. I also feel so much grief for these total strangers for the loss of their little ones. I used to listen to the news and just say "that's terrible news". Now, it really impacts me.
Ok I'm done rambling. I pray for you all the time. I check your family blog for updates. I hope someday we can meet and I can give you a great big hug. I pray that Max, Taylor and Callie are holding up okay. Gracie.. you will be in our heart forever!! :)
I have a blog merely for journal & posterity purposes. I can express thoughts & feelings in a way that is in a much deeper part of my soul. It is apparent that perhaps you feel the same way.
I have never felt your blog to be depressing in any way. I think all of us readers can walk away knowing that through this experience we can strive to be better. Every moment in our life is a precious moment! I hope we can all remember that. "Live your life today, as if tomorrow will be your last"
We have a responsibility as parents to live for our children so that we will live with them forever...through eternity.
Thank you for sharing intimate details of Gracies story...her life...and her passing. Gracie touched our life in an unforgetable way...she will always be a part of our lives...! Her body has passed on, but her spirit lives forever in our hearts.
I hope this blog never comes to an end...but in the case that it does...never forget that we love her dearly...we love you dearly and always will. For as long as you have this blog...we will always be a reader.
Hugs-
Thank you for your spirit of hope and faith. Your blog, and your sweet Gracie, have inspired me to be better, to love more, to give my kids more hugs and kisses, and to look for the good in every situation. Thank you so much! It is a gift I could never repay.
I will certainly miss hearing from you/about your beautiful children. I too, come here every day to check in on you guys and to see Gracie's amazingly beautiful face. She always did brighten my days just by seeing a picture of her.
Take Care! I hope you'll stop in from time to time to let us all know how you and your family is doing.
Love and Prayers,
Rachel (Lee's Summit, MO)
lovefor9.blogspot.com
luvfor9@gmail.com
Thanks for sharing the article. Paul really is amazing and so is his family.
Don't worry about not posting on this blog. people will continue to check and I love going back through past entries to read about your miracle. You are GREAT!! Miss you!
Liz
Dear Michele,
My husband started our family blog when we got home from China with our son who we had just adopted and he was immediately life flighted to Primary's for heart surgery. Our blog friends are mostly family, friends, heart friends and Chinese adoption families.
I have struggled with what to share on our blog. Reading your posts on this blog have been so empowering to me to share the every day details just as they are. Sometimes even letting a day pass means that I write in a more rose colored way...
I am finding that I can help others more by sharing things just as they are.
Thank you for your honesty. I have learned so much from your example. I know that if we would have met while our babies were both in the PICU together last year we would have been fast friends. But I love you even more because the reason we didn't meet then was you were spending as much time with your kids at home during spring break.
Love
Kim Brown
I wondered what might come of this blog in the months that followed... Michele, please keep your blog... I am so eager to see Gracie's Christmas tree... my husband donated to it and I was so moved by that fact because he is a stubborn man, and he bent for a tiny baby and her family... there was a blessing in that and your blog softened him...
We still pray for your family every day... with much, love, respect and consideration, Livy and family...
I have been so inspired by you! You have such a sweet and amazing way with words. I have never felt a doom and gloom feeling when I visit your blog. I have felt the spirt through your sweet music and testimony. I thought of the scripture about comforting those who stand in need of comfort, and mourning with those who mourn. I kind of feel that blogging can give us a chance to follow that scripture in a different way.
Thank you for allowing me to read your tender thoughts and feelings about your sweet gracie. She will never be forgotten! I have prayed for you, and cried with you, even if it has been through a computer. I hope that you have felt the love that others have for you, your family, and your sweet baby. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of love, Kelsi
Hello~
We have never met. I came upon your blog from my friend's blog. I have been reading Gracie's life story for the last two hours. I have spent every minute of it sobbing. I saw the outcome when I first clicked on the blog, and then scrolled to the beginning and starting reading, and yet, because I am a mother of two, I found myself hoping and hoping that the outcome would be different. I wanted the happy ending and the miracle for your family!! It was heart wrenching to read to the top for the second time, and see precious little Gracie slip away to her Heavenly Father. I cannot even imagine the pain you must be feeling. I cannot even fathom it. . .my heart aches for you and for your family. I wish there was something I could do for you. I will pray for you!! Reading Gracie's story has been moving and inspiring, and although you may not realize it now, you are stronger than you think you are. You have grown so much through your experiences, and you will continue to grow with each day that passes. Our lives are like paint on a canvas, and sometimes we can't see the full picture until the painting is finished. With the touch of the master's hand, our paintings can and will become masterpieces, and through his atoning love for us and through his sacrifice. As I mentioned earlier about wanting the happy ending for you and for your family, there is a plan, an eternal plan, and there is a happy ending in store for you and for your family. . .and someday through your faith, and through your trials, and by enduring to the end. . .you will have your happy ending. . . your masterpiece. . . because families are forever. . .
Michele,
This blog has touched so many and allowed Gracie to have such a strong clear voice through you and Tom. I am glad that you have continued to add things here and there. Gracie is not forgotten and touched us in an amazing way. I have loved having a blog for Grant and could echo many of your comments about having those precious memories preserved. Thanks for allowing us to share in your families continuing journey.
Alli Hicken
I am so grateful you kept this blog. I know it was only meant for you to record the daily things of Sweet Gracie. Thank You for allowing us strangers to share in the journey. It has been a true privledge to read about this most sweet spirit who came to this earth, and has left a legacy beyond measure. My heart still aches for the pain you must feel not having her here and not being able to blog about her. I do hope that maybe once in awhile you might just let us know how you're doing. I pray everyday for our Heavenly Father to continue to bless you and your family as you continue to carry on in your journey to be with Gracie again. Sure hope I can meet Gracie in Heaven one day. Wow, I think the lines will be long just to give her a big hug. Hugs from our family to your's.:)
This blog has never been horrible to read. If anything, it has been so uplifting and thought provoking! I have truly felt the "spirit" and love of our Heavenly Father when I have read this blog--many times over. So, thank you for that! She surely had such a strong spirit to reach so many!
Thank you for starting Gracie's blog! Thank you for sharing your sweet girl with me! I can't imagine the pain that you must feel on a daily basis..I want you to know that I pray for you and am just thankful that I was allowed to walk along with you on this journey.
We have truly enjoyed this blog site and the amazing words and tributes that have come from it. We have truly been touched by GG and your sweet family. We hope you will continue to update us on your family's status even though you will blog more on your family blog now. GG was and is such a special girl/angel that was sent to your family and has changed our lives forever. We think of her everyday and pray for all of you often. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your family and experience. We were spiritually fed by Paul and the talent that was present at his concert. He is an amazing man and we love his music. Such a small world, I attended nursing school with his wife Lynette. She is such an angel. Keep us posted and keep smiling! We love you all so much! Hang in there.
We will truly miss your blog entries. I look forward to always checking to see if there is something new going on. I was so touched by Paul's concert and the amazing talent that was present that night. Gracie was and is truly a special little girl/angel sent from our Heavenly Father to brighten all of our lives and change us for the better! We love you guys so much! Hang in there and know we keep you in our prayers often and think of GG everyday! Keep in touch we would love to hear how life is in the Gledhill home and how Max, Taylor and Callie are doing as well as you and Tom. All our love. The Gee Family
P.S. I lost my entry and all of the sudden it re-appeared so I'll send both.
That was a beautiful article! This blog is such an inspiration to so many families. I have always felt it was uplifting and full of hope.
This is a beautiful blog. It is a honor reading it
Michelle,
Oh dear, how I will miss you! I carry all of you in my heart and we continue our prayers for your family to please be blessed with peace, endurance, hope and memories to last a lifetime until you meet again.
A beautiful girl, Miss Gracie, will never be forgotten--always remembered! Thank you, as a Mama, for sharing honestly with us your loving, heart wrenching, love filled journey with Gracie.
Michele & Family-
Just thinking of you today and everyday..I never had the privilege of meeting your sweetheart, but today...especially today, I am missing her smily face!
Gracie will forever be in our hearts...FOREVER!
Hugs to all of your tender hearts.
I will miss the updates on your Blog about Gracie! She was so Beautiful! Thanks for sharing her life with us!
Gracie's blog has been life changing for me and my family. You have done an amazing job capturing the joy and meaning of Gracie's life. We will always remember her and the legacy she has left behind. We will be following your family blog and look forward to reading about the many adventures of your cute family.
Love ya!
Nat
I just found you blog and plan to read some more to get to know Grace and to your family iam so very sorry for your lose I wil prey for you and your family
I stumbled across your blog today...while doing a little blog hopping. You are never going to believe this, but I have Gracie's Theme playing on my blog. {that was even before I found your blog} I heard it on Paul Cardall's blog and it was so beautiful I just had to share it with everyone. Now that I have found your blog.....it has even more meaning than ever.
I am sorry for your loss, Gracie was just beautiful.
Love, Prayers & Hugs,
Christina
Hi Michelle! You may not know me but your husband used to work at my daddy's(Ross')office. I am now 10 and my mom was talking about your baby girl and her blog. I dicided to chek it out and here I am. I posted about Gracie on my blog because I thought the story was truly touching. Guess What!!!!????? My family is donating $10 to Gracie's tree at the Sandy fetival of trees. Iam allways in tears when I look at this blog. It makes me gratful for what I have. I am especally gratful for this blog.Gracie is just adorable.
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