I want to give her kisses.
I want to give her a bath.
I want to change her diaper.
I want to wash her clothes.
I want to hear her cry.
I want to make her smile.
I want to see her play with her toys.
I want her to do her cute little 'look away' when I see her.
I want to say 'Who's that pretty girl over there!' to her one more time.
I want to fluff her hair.
I want to see her 12 little teeth.
I want to refill her medication.
I want another picture of her.
I want to turn on Dora the Explorer for her.
I want to bring her to the next family party.
I want to see her light up when you give her her chapstick.
I want to see the pure love on her face when she cuddles up to her blankie.
I want to hear her whine for me when she sees me.
I want to see my kids with her again.
Just one more time...................
83 comments:
I am so sorry.......I wish I could take the pain away. Katie
Tearfully touching!
God loves you.... Jan Tompkins:)
Me too :(
I am sure mourning the loss of a child is the worst pain you can feel. It's not fair.
The craving to have Gracie back must be overwhelming. I guess the only thing you can do is picture Gracie surrounded by "heavenly flowers" peace and happiness.
Unfortunately we are left here on this earth to suffer pain-- in the cold and SNOW with no flowers!!! Dang this earth life is hard!
I guess it will be all worth it someday....right???
I am so sorry for your loss, as I read that I cried!
O I am so so sorry! I wish that any of us could give that to you, I would in a heart beat. I know you will have that chance again in heaven with Gracie, look forward to that. Not that it makes it any easier, it is just something to look forward to. My heart aches for you. You are not alone dear friend.
Oh how I want you to have your "Gracie Girl" too.
This just plain out STINKS!!!!!
Crying raindrop size tears for you today.
I am so sorry, how my heart aches for you.
I "want" all of that for you. I know that it is not easy losing a child (I have had 2 miscarriages, not entirely the same, but kind of). It is not an easy ride and I continue to pray for your family to get thru this difficult situation. God bless you.
very heartwarming picture. I'm so sad for you
My heart aches for you and your family! What a beautiful and precious blessing she has been to you all! No words can help to take away that heartache! What a blessing to know she is sealed to you and is yours forever! But that still does not take the pain of missing her so much away! I am so sorry! Know my prayers are with you!
That last line. It's the clincher for me. So hard! So terribly hard! There is the promise we get to raise them again IF we are faithful, righteous enough worthy. But why can't I have that chance to raise my little Dominic and Bridget with their siblings? Why can't Gracie be raised with Max, Taylor, and Callie? What did our sweet little children do wrong to miss that opportunity? I know there has to be an answer out there that is just AND merciful. For that is the God I believe in! But it is such a difficult thing, isn't it, to want it now. To want these things that our hearts must wait for! I am so sorry. I want those things for you, too. I really do. I wish I didn't worry about you and didn't feel so compelled to come here to see how you are doing. It hurts me so much to KNOW what these things you are saying feel like. I know something of it all. Not exactly. Our experiences are different. But it hurts me to know you have to suffer this, and if it hurts ME, how it must hurt YOU! So sorry. Dominic is our fourth child. We also had two boys and two girls when he died. I feel there are so many connections in our experiences, and I just wish I could understand HOW I am supposed to be of any help to you. I feel that the "coincidence" that I found you just as Gracie was to leave this world, and the funeral at the same Church as Dominic's, and the same Funeral home that we used for Bridget, and... there seems to be something about it all that makes me feel there is more than chance. But I just can't find a way to know what to do. I wish I had the insights. I want to help somehow. I am so sorry.
Oh, Michele, I am sooo sorry! I truly wish I could take away some of your pain and sorrow. Know that Miss Gracie is looking down on you in peace and glory, not wanting you to hurt, but anxiously waiting for the day for you to hold her again...and you WILL! I pray for you each day and ask that God give you comfort, courage and strength during this most difficult time. May He wrap his arms round you and give you peace. How can a mother not want all that you want and more? Sharing tears with you today, tomorrow and in days to come. God bless you and your sweet family. (What a precious picture, thanks for sharing!)
I am sorry this is so hard. I can't even imagine how much you miss your sweet Gracie.
Hugs & Prayers,
Christina
Jacob's Momma
I wish I could make it all better for you! Why do you always make me cry?!!! Please know you and Gracie are always on my mind. I wish I could give you "just one more time"...
Oh how I wish this for you too. What a blessing memories are, but they are not tangible. Our prayers and thoughts are with you all continually as each passing day continues to be filled with grief. Love to you and your whole sweet family.
Alli
i am appreciating your love and honesty...and holding my babies a little tighter now. praying for you.
I am so sorry! I can't imagine what you are going through or how you feel but I shed a tear upon reading this!
I am so sorry, I cannot even imagine. I wish there was something we could do to help!
Oh my heart!! I wish I could come cry with you on the couch. Mortality seems to slow down without her.
My friend told me about a blog that might be of some support.
We pray for your family every night.
We are still praying for you and your family to have strength through this time.
Much Love!
Thank you for the beautiful reminder to savor each day.
I am so sorry.
Love, Robbie
What sweet post. They all are though. I know that I have no idea what you are going through but know that I think about you every day and continue to pray for you. I am so happy for your updates, even if they are a little sad. Don't stop updating. We are here for you and for most of us, this blog is our only connection and we love it! You are so loved. I am sure you know that.
You don't know me, I'm sure we'll never meet, but know when I read your blog I just start praying. I pray for your family, you!, your children. I hate what you have gone through and are going through. Gracie Girl has touch many life's with her story. I found your blog through Kelly's Korner. God Bless you and your sweet family!
My heart hurts for you, I wish I could take the pain away.
Hugs
Dear Michele, You have been on my mind since I started reading Gracie's Blog. My husband and I go and visit her grave! I know that I don't know you or Gracie, but through her blog, I have thought about her and you every day!
I'm so glad that we have the knowledge of the Gospel!
I lost a sister in 1987, And I do miss her a lot! There are good days and bad days. You are in our prayers.
Keep Smiling!
Tanille of American Fork!
Dear Michele,
I am sending you love. After we lost our baby boy I was strong at first.... but as the weeks passed it seemed hard and lonely. I felt like others had gone on with life but I was still on hold...and I wondered how I could walk down the street and others not notice the hole in my heart that had left a gapping wound that was still raw.
Time will make it better... but this is the hard part...just hang on... you will feel joy again.
Love, Grammy Lura
I want that for you too. I wish it could be right now, but we know that one day, because of a loving Savior, you will get to do all of those things with your Gracie girl again. Just hold on...
I want that for you too. I wish it could be right now, but we know that one day, because of a loving Savior, you will get to do all of those things with your Gracie girl again. Just hold on...
Still praying for peace and comfort in this difficult time. Not a day goes bye that I don't think of Gracie.
Much Love!
Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. I know that pain so well. I'm hurting for you and with you today. I have had those thoughts so many times. It is so incredibly hard. I'm sorry from the bottom of my aching heart. It just takes me back to the early days of my grief and how your heart and body physically hurt. It is just effort to breathe. Like I said before, Keep Paddling, Keep swimming in this enormous sea of grief. There are better days ahead. - Hugs and love today, Love Nicole
Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. I know that pain so well. I'm hurting for you and with you today. I have had those thoughts so many times. It is so incredibly hard. I'm sorry from the bottom of my aching heart. It just takes me back to the early days of my grief and how your heart and body physically hurt. It is just effort to breathe. Like I said before, Keep Paddling, Keep swimming in this enormous sea of grief. There are better days ahead. - Hugs and love today, Love Nicole
p.s. I noticed that Taylor has one of the pictures that my niece,Jean Keaton, drew of Jesus with the baby in front of the plant in his Gracie shrine.
I will tell Jean that you have it there. She will be happy that you have it. She is always prayerful that her art work will bring peace to those who have it.
A while back you asked us to send you posts we did about Gracie on our blogs. I did two around the time she died. I tried to send them to you but my crazy computer would not let me copy and paste them in word to send to you. I will try to get someone to help find a way to do it. I put her picture on both blogs. On one I also put an angel holding a heart by her that says Gracie Girl. I think you would like it. I will keep trying to find a way to send it to you.... or you could go to my Feb. 22 and March 1st posts and copy them yourself. In case you want to do that my blog address is:
http://grammysnews.blogspot.com
I will continue to put your name in the temple each week. I know that it takes a long time to heal from your amputated part... but the healing will come and the terrible ache will go away...it just takes time.
Love, Grammy Lura
We all wish those 'one more time' moments for you.
And, I bet she is anxiously waiting those moments too.
Oh what a sweet reunion awaits!
I wish you had just one more time too. I'm sorry you are feeling sad:(.
I am so sorry. My heart aches for you. You and your family are continually in my thoughts and prayers. That picture is so sweet.
I don't know you personally; but you and Gracie have changed me. I wish you could have all of this too. We're still praying for you everyday!
There truly are no words. I am so sorry for your loss. Gracie is remembered by me every single day.
I want those things for you too. So, so bad. My heart just aches for you right now.
You always have a way of bringing the important stuff in life back in perspective. Thank you so much for that insight. After reading your post I walked into my boys' messy rooms and felt so grateful for them - even their messes.
I WANT to take away your pain...
i want those things for you, too. xoxo
I'm sorry. Thanks for continuing to share your feelings with us. I'm sure she is right there with you saying "I'm here! I love you and I'm always with you still!"
We love you guys!!
Oh, how I want that for you too.
I wish all of this for you too Michele. My heart is heavy. Still lifting you up in prayer.
Amy
Oh Michele-your tender heart, I wish I had the power to give you "Just one more time" Im so sorry...
Someday you will have "just one more time"...better yet, an Eternity. I wish it wasnt so far away...
Hugs dear sister! Hugs! Lots of love!
I always just wanted to hold her!She is just adoreable, and so sweet! I was always jealous when your neighbor would leave a comment about getting to be with Gracie, and hold her, love her, ect.
Someday you will get to do all those things again. Until then, we will all just miss her too much.
We are still praying for your family everyday. We love you, even tho you're strangers to us!
Tami
I live in Texas my friend Christie got me started reading your blog about your precious little Gracie Girl. Another girl here at our office reads it too. I can't even imagine losing a child and the pain you must be going through. My mother passed away about 6 years ago (even though at times it seems like yesterday) and I know it is not the same, but we played One More Day at her funeral and the pastor really hit it that we would all love to have one more day, but we would just keep wanting just one more...I really wish you could have many more days with your precious Gracie, but know that she is in Heaven with Jesus and all of the other precious angels there and for her she won't have missed a moment with you by the time you get there and it will be like you were never apart. My heart aches for you and know that you have prayers and love from all over. Thank you for giving us the precious gift of getting to know Gracie too through your blog - what a gift you have for writing and sharing.
I wish I could give you a hug right now. I am so sorry. This quote (from E. Wirthlin) keeps coming to my mind, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." Much love to you.
Michele,
My heart truly aches for you and for your loss. I cannot imagine what you have gone through as a mother losing her precious, innocent baby in such a cruel way. I am praying for you right now that God will give you a feeling of hope, comfort, and of great love as only He can do. I know you want your Gracie girl back... I know with my mother's heart that you will always want her back. There is nothing in this world that compares to the love for our children.
I'm praying for you... and will continue to do so.
We miss you, Gracie girl... we miss seeing your smiling face through this blog. Heaven is such a sweet place now with your beautiful smiling face there. We miss you...
Oh how I know the way you feel. I am saddened by your loss and am sorry. I hope you find comfort, strength and peace for yourself. I am glad to see that you are honoring yourself and posting your feelings.
I want my sweet daughter to be comforted. If I could take your pain upon me I would in a split second. So let's go shopping!!
Love you so much,
Mom
xox
Though a stranger, I am praying for you! Gracie has just touched my heart even though I came upon your story after she passed away.
I thought of you today as I was driving down the road, coming home from running errands.
Gracie was so gorgeous! Everytime I look at the pictures you post, I am in awe of her beauty. Sending you (((((HUGS))))).
~Kari Livingston
I have no words of wisdom for you...I am so very sorry that you have to learn to live without her...I pray for you continually and will keep doing so. I pray that over time your pain will be eased, but right now I will just pray that you receive strength in your time of sorrow...
http://broadcast.lds.org/genconf/2004/oct/2/genconf2004oct2sustainings.mp3
I don't know why. But I just think you might need to hear that clip. The beginning is all. You don't have to go too far into it. This was Pres. Monson just after a group of children had finished singing during the Conference session. It is what he said. When I first heard it, I was surprised. I had always remembered being told that in the Spirit World, everyone is grown to their "prime". So his words made me think a little more. I still don't comprehend a lot, but for whatever reason, I thought maybe I should share this with you. I hope it gives you something useful and isn't a waste of your time. I hope it was okay to share it.
Michele,
I'm sorry.
Love,
Winnie
(sorry... wrong account)
"Wasn't that singing beautiful by the children? We miss today, of course, Elder David B. Haight; Elder Neal A. Maxwell. I'm sure where they've been called to labour, there are children, just like the children here."
Just in case, that is what was said that I was referring to. I don't know why that would specifically be important to you, and maybe it isn't really an inspiration. But I just felt compelled to share it. I am sorry if I keep intruding too much.
I want....
... your heartache to go away
... your sadness to depart
... and for you to feel your baby in your arms again.
How grateful I am that you have shared your life with us... happy and sad moments alike.
With all the love in the world (who knew it could come from one stranger to another),
Mandy
P.S. I know tomorrow will be hard. Know that there are many shedding tears all over the world... especially up here in Cache Valley. We love love love you!
-Mandy & Baby Gentry
Oh, I am so sorry. My heart aches for you. The picture of Callie and Gracie together is just priceless... the way they are looking at each other. You and your family are constantly in my prayers.
I can't imagine the pain you must feel, I wish you could get your wish.
HEART HUGS
My heart aches for you..... I couldn't stop crying.....I am speechless....
xoxox and lots of love to you and your precious family!!
Alyson
Oh how I wish I could give you those moments again. I am so very sorry.
you will be able to one day! She is beautiful and That was so sweet what you wrote. It made me cry it made me think about my little one who is gone as well!
Oh how your precious Gracie has touched my life. What a precious gift she was to all that came to love her. My heart still aches for you.
I pray that you will have your Gracie girl come to you in your dreams and give you a hug, a laugh and a kiss, as she is now! Whole, happy, beautiful, all that she should be here with you only not right now! She is so close to you right now, just feel her presence! I truely believe that Heavenly Father allows our precious babies and children to come and visit us and comfort us. A dear friend lost her baby a few hours after he was born. A few weeks later he came to her, his spirit was a grown man. And he told her he loved her and how grateful he was to her for giving him a body, and now he is about his fathers work. He agreed to that before he came to earth. He was happy and he wanted her to be happy and know she will see him again some day.
I pray for that for you, and your family. Go to the temple, she will be there!
My heart breaks for you! I am so sorry that you are going through this...so for you and Gracie and your entire family. I don't understand these things and can't imagine why the Lord does it so I'm not one to give you advice but please know that you are in my prayers every single night! I think of you and Gracie often!
I think of you every day.
I wish so bad you could have what you want! I am so so sorry! This has got to be the hardest thing anyone could ever experience.
Love you tons!
Nat
I can not even imagine what you are going through. I cry when I see her picture. I miss her, and I never even met her. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I think it is so interesting that you mentioned her medicine. Whenever I get stressed out with sleepless nights, canulas being pulled out, milk spilling from g-tubes. I am overcome with a sense of peace of how amazing it is to be able to stress about things my son is doing. I am so touched by your blog. Our hearts are hurting with you and we wish we could ease your pain. I call my mother in law whenever you do an update and we read it and call each other back crying. She has lost two children of her own. Ashlie when she was 3 years old. And Natatlie when she was 24. Her heart aches for you. My heart aches for you and your beautiful children. I hope we are not out of place commenting on your blog. We just want you to know how loved your daughter was and will always be! Thank you for sharing her with us, we are forever changed. Love, Stacy and Family
Me too. I have thought and thought about what I could say that might bring you peace, but all that comes is tears. Maybe knowing that others remember Gracie, you and your family will help. I'll keep praying for peace to fill your aching heart.
I am so so sorry you are hurting. I wish there were words I could say to you to help ease the pain but I know there is not. Please just know that you are thought of often.
I am so so sorry you are hurting. I wish there were words I could say to you to help ease the pain but I know there is not. Please just know that you are thought of often.
My bishop spoke at my son's funeral and I often recall something that he quoted from Joseph Smith regarded the loss of children. He said "all your losses will be made up to you in the resurrection, provided you continue faithful." Hold firm to that truth Michele. It will see you through the times when you think you are just not strong enough to bear this burden.
I know you don't know me, but I just want to thank you for helping me appreciate my kids a little more each day! Thank you! You are a Hero to me!
I'm very sorry for this heart ache.
I am reduced to tears when I come here. I want you to have your baby in your arms again too.
One day. You will.
Until then, there are sad sad moments. my prayers are with you.
May God lighten your burdens and keep the good memories bright.
It's been almost 8 years... and I still want those things with my Tera so badly that I physically ache sometimes... how I understand the raw desperation behind your words.
Thinking of you guys...
ugh...I CANNOT read your blog without tears streaming down my face! I miss Gracie too and I don't even know her! I am so sorry for you loss.....so, so sorry. My heart is so heavy for you. This post makes me appreciate EVERYTHING that much more about my 16 month old daughter. (especially the diapers part). I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but I do hope that you are doing better. Please know that you are in my thoughts as prayers...and so is Gracie.
Michele- thinking of you often and praying that you will have the peace and comfort with you that only our Heavenly Father and Gracie can provide for you and your family. I know one day you WILL have all of these things that your heart so desires ten fold. Much love, The Gee Family
I can't imagine the pain you and your family feel. My youngest is about the same age as Gracie, and your story has really touched my life. There are many days I find myself loosing patience with my kids, or wishing I could have a nice long break when my husband has been gone for a long time and I feel like I haven't had time to myself. Then I think about you, and your family, and I realize that I should not take one second with them for granted. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Your faith amazes me.
Lori Sayama
I want that for you too!
still thinking about you and your darling family. I heard the concert last night was amazing, touching, spiritual etc.
Your cute little gracie girl has touched some many people. thanks for sharing her with us.
sending love your way
I Lay here in bed reading your blog that i stumbeled upon from a friend blog. My five month old son is laying next to me, sound asleep. Tears are running down my face as i read you entries. I can't even imaging being in your shoes. You are a strong woman to have gone through the things you have. I now feel like i have taken the past five months for granted. i must cherish everymoment with my son. As each day is a gift and we never know what the next day may bring.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family strength and happeiness though the hard times to come!
Gracie was beautiful!
Jenna
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